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<title>heaven if you sent us down by arcadiatriedbutfell (sotakeabitofcalpol)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22869154">heaven if you sent us down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sotakeabitofcalpol/pseuds/arcadiatriedbutfell'>arcadiatriedbutfell (sotakeabitofcalpol)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Time War (Doctor Who), Very loosely based of s12, War, Yaz’s pov, dream - Freeform, well watch me get weird as hell describing it, y’all know how fucked up the time war was</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:01:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22869154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sotakeabitofcalpol/pseuds/arcadiatriedbutfell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before they fly into the warzone, Yaz dreams</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>heaven if you sent us down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So so loosely based in s12. Character tags will become sorta self explanatory in their weirdness. </p>
<p>This is all stream-of-consciousness, so...sorry</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It isn't her, exactly, in the dream, but something about the way she stands...her speech, about the way she is alone in her responsibility, that heaviness clearly weighing her shoulders. Even in a dream, Yaz remembers.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A figure, who isn't quite her doctor, runs through the streets of a city, aflame in green and red, children under her arms. Other soldiers scream at her, but she ignores them, pushes the children into the rubble and tells them to wait, to hide, to not come out until they're sure it's over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The tone's all wrong. This can't be the Doctor. She'll get them to the TARDIS, they'll be safe.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Doctor."</p>
<p>"That's not my name, not anymore."</p>
<p>She turns her back and runs back into the gunfire. Gunfire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The other soldiers had weapons. She isn't holding one. Why?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The street vanishes.</p>
<hr/>
<p>She stands, an angel of death. The precipice of a war, a thousand armies charging her fortress. She makes no moves, stands alone. The silhouettes of the army fall, although she makes no move. Chunks of something crumble from the cliff, and she makes no move.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Behind her, glass shatters. A dome, like a snow globe, cracks and sets alight with green flashes. She doesn't turn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A box appears behind her, the ghost of a women, and others; less clear; maybe two men and a girl. Regret and forget flashes through her mind, but doesn't explain why.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s gone.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Flashes. A crystal wall, a sterile room, a man <strike>or is it the doctor. It's her eyes</strike> with a gun against a group of people in red robes. A dying man. Another dying man, another, a woman.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The city continues to shatter, but it feels different. No green flashes, no armies, just insanity and rage and something simultaneously older and younger crackling black and blood-red from a lone figure. It isn't her. She knows him though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stalks, an assassin, not a soldier. He doesn't carry a gun either, but everything is alight, and she knows he did it. A child cries. He stops, for one second, and a child shines through his eyes, a scared child. Maybe he'll stop, spare the child, maybe...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes go hard and old and mad, and he resumes his march. The child's screams join with thousands into a crescendo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s gone.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Her doctor, definitely her doctor this time, stares out at the orange dust and skies and flames, and her tears blur out the broken city. The blue door slams shut, and she is, for the first time, alone in her dream.</p>
<hr/>
<p>She wakes up from her doze on the control room steps. The doctor, back to her, flicks at the controls, and she wonders if they'd made the right choice by following her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because she's pretty sure this isn't the Doctor's first warzone, and it definitely won't be <em>her</em> last, but she wonders if it might be theirs.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yikes, y’all made it through this? Props to you, this sucks.</p>
<p>But um thanks for reading. This ep broke my brain so imma go sleep.</p>
<p>The title’s from Crossfire by Stephen, and doesn’t really fit, but I didn’t have a better one.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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